It’s called financial infidelity: secret spending that negatively affects a couple’s finances so much that one spouse goes to great lengths to HIDE troublesome financial decisions and is defensive when confronted!
But WAIT! Before you make any accusations, get familiar with these warning signs.
Signs your spouse may be “cheating” on your shared financial commitments, according to The Simple Dollar, include hiding significant purchases, taking on debt without your knowledge or consent, removing you without cause as an authorized user on joint accounts, missing cash, and even hiding mail!
See any of these warning signs in your relationship? Here’s a protocol you can use to confront the problem.
Start a monthly conversation in which you both collaborate on your spending plan. During this time invite your partner to share any financial transactions that don’t align with your previously shared vision for your financial future.
If the problem gets worse, you may consider these more extreme next steps.
Seeking counseling and saving a personal emergency fund may offer you a bit of control should the challenges continue.
But remember, for richer or poorer, your objective is to reestablish trust and communication and to work towards financial goals you both can be passionate about. That may take a good deal of repentance on your offending spouse’s part and forgiveness on yours – but reconciliation is possible!